A gem reader wrote: “In the experience I had, a woman said that she felt I was suggesting NVC ‘as a way to avoid confrontation,’ adding that she feels she ‘has the courage to deal with things directly.’” 

Responses like this are common with NVC—and with any system of transformation. While some systems may be truly ineffective, most of the time it is people’s misuse of the system that results in unmet needs. Others then judge the system based on an individual’s ability to embody it.