Practice Emotional Security: Skill 3: Seek care and comfort from supportive others when faced with difficulty
Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each. For more context about MCD Relationship Competency 11: Emotional Security, see Skill 1: Using specific neutral observations, share with significant others what emotional security and responsiveness looks like for you and Skill 2: Internally access positive memories and the thought of supportive others in a moment of difficulty.
Skill 3: Seek care & comfort from supportive others when faced with difficulty
Seeking care and comfort is something that folks who are operating from a secure attachment pattern do consistently. Here are some specific examples of what seeking care and comfort might look like:
When feeling insecure, check in with someone you trust for reassurance.
When someone offers an appreciation of you in some way, take time to restate the appreciation.
When you are hurting about a disconnect in a relationship, seek repair by using the skills you have learned from Mindful Compassionate Dialogue or getting support from someone who can help.
Regularly reflect upon and share feelings and needs with someone who can attune to you.
Work regularly with a therapist who creates a sense of safety and attunement, and embraces somatic and emotional experience.
Practice
Reflect on at least one example of a time when you sought care and comfort from another person who is/was available and helpful. Nothing is too small to include. If you can’t bring any examples to mind, set your intention to notice anything anyone does that makes your life a little easier in a given moment. For example, you might notice that someone holds the door for you when you are carrying a package, or slows down so you can pass by in a crowded grocery store.
For the time(s) you do remember specifically seeking support, identify the following details in your reflection:
How were you able to remind yourself to seek support?
Who did you seek out for support?
What did they offer that was supportive?
What did you do internally or externally to take in their support?
What feelings and needs were alive for you after you received support?