Compassion for Anxiety

Anxiety can be consistently hanging out in the background, or it can be all-encompassing. You may find yourself trying to get away from anxiety by tightening around it, or engaging in some momentary pleasurable distraction like snacking or watching TV. Or, you might fall into a sort of trance in which you repeat to yourself, "I'm so anxious, I'm so anxious.” Here are some simple ways to keep out of these two traps, instead becoming a compassionate witness and checking in with thoughts and needs.

1. To become a compassionate witness of your experience, begin by naming your experience. Just notice the anxiety in the same way you might notice a breeze on your face. You can do this by asking yourself reflection questions, like:

Where do I feel the anxiety in my body?

Does it move, stay still, feel heavy, have a color, depth, or shape?

Is it affecting my heart rate, temperature, digestion, etc?

As you ask these questions, you dis-identify with the anxiety and thus break the "I'm so anxious" trance state.


2. Bring warmth and compassion through a reassuring tone and words, such as:

It's okay to be anxious.

This anxiety is uncomfortable and I am okay.

I don't have to try to get away from this. I am safe.

It's okay to feel this anxiety.

3. Then, with your compassionate witness, you can check out what thoughts might be escalating the anxiety. (Take care that this step follows only after the first two steps above. If you work solely with thoughts you may create more suffering by trying to talk yourself out of your feelings). So, with lots of gentleness you can ask yourself:

Is there anything important coming up for me that I might be anxious about?

If so, what am I telling myself about that?  

Are there particular needs that I perceive to be threatened? If yes, do I see any way that these needs are met or could be met?

If I am having self-critical thoughts, can I give those self-critical thoughts empathy?

Moment by moment you can decide how to relate to your own experience. The compassion you bring to yourself becomes the compassion you can bring to others.

Practice

For the next week, do these three practices once a day. Take time to sit quietly and journal, or just sit in stillness noticing your experience and build a compassionate relationship with whatever is present using the three steps suggested above.