From hopelessness to Wise Attention

You are compassionate and have a genuine wish for the health and happiness of all beings, but sometimes you lose your groundedness in this caring wish. When you reflect on painful and challenging situations in your community and the world at large, you might find yourself slipping into hopelessness and you begin to suffer about the suffering in the world. You fall into a "suffering plus one" dynamic. Now more than ever, it is essential that you have the tools to remain grounded in the face of painful and challenging situations. So what is one way you can ground yourself in compassion and wise contribution?

Wise action flows from wise attention. Hopelessness is a sign of unwise attention. Hopelessness occurs when you allow your thoughts to spin around and around about painful community or world circumstances, how awful they are, and how impossible change seems to be. This is very different from gathering specific information with the intention to contribute. It’s important to pay attention and name hopelessness when it arises. It is (along with other alarm feelings) an important cue. It tells you to notice where you are putting your attention. 

Let’s look at six basic steps for examining and then redirecting your attention so that you can be grounded in compassion and wisdom.  

1. Identify the trigger stimulus.

First, name what you heard or saw that triggered this latest bout of hopelessness. Was it something you witnessed personally, a story on the radio, a bit of news on TV or something else? There are likely multiple triggers, but just focus on the most recent one.

2. Name and feel any associated emotions and sensations

Name any all emotions that are present as you identify the trigger. Allow each emotion by feeling it in your body. Notice exactly where you feel it, how it moves, if it has a shape or a color. When you focus with full mindfulness on the feeling and associated sensations, the feeling will naturally dissolve and the next feeling will ask for the same kind of attention. Intrusive thoughts from reactive stories can delay or block this process.

3. Invite and allow grief

At the end of the process of being with your emotions, you will notice a gentle spaciousness. In this space, invite grief. Allowing grief is the courageous act of facing things as they are without the buffer of your reactive stories about it.

True grief is a connected and expansive feeling. Tears may flow or not. If you begin to feel heavy, collapsed, or shut down, you have moved out of grief and into reactivity. Grief is also a feeling that has its own life. You can invite and make space for it by simply sitting quietly. It will arise and fall of its own accord. When you have fully allowed grief, you will feel more grounded and have a sense of centered calm. You experience this at your center. It is common that reactive thoughts and feelings may still be present, but they will not be able to take hold of you. They will seem more distant.

4. Name the universal needs or values

Now you are ready to name the specific needs/values that you want to care for as you reflect on the trigger event you named earlier. They might be one or more of these: compassion, equity, contribution, hope, mutuality, appreciation, safety, or respect. Invite your mind, heart, and body to remember what you experience when these needs and values are cared for and aligned with. Let yourself sink into the felt-sense of these universal guiding energies by focusing on the felt-sense in these memories. This is an important resource for you and will guide wise action.

5. Focus on strategies that care for the needs you named

From the energy of the met needs, you can now give your attention to the ways you are already caring for these needs in your daily life. Your list might include things that are an integrated part of your lifestyle like biking to work, buying organic food, volunteering with a service organization, participating in peaceful protests, or sharing your smile wherever you go. Notice the quality of attention you have as you engage in these strategies. Coach yourself toward the felt sense of care and compassion. Ground yourself in the strong intention to contribute with care. This is wise attention.

6. Make space for wise guidance

When you reside more consistently in wise attention, you will notice that wise guidance begins to appear. For example, perhaps you are invited to contribute in surprising ways or you have a strong intuition to offer something new. Making space in your life for quiet walks, meditation, listening to supportive music or other spacious engagements allows wise guidance to flow to you.

Practice

Keep the steps above handy and choose one time to practice with them in the coming week.