4 Steps for Relief from Anxiety
It's instinctual to pull away from discomfort. However, trying to get away from uncomfortable feelings like anxiety adds another layer of suffering to an already difficult experience. Trying to get away from anxiety can take several forms.
You might catch yourself in internal arguments. One voice says, "I'm really anxious." And another voice says, "There's no reason to feel anxious about this. It's no big deal, just get it together." You might also try to push anxiety away by tightening against the sensation. Or, you might look for quick fixes like, another cup of coffee, something sweet, a pain pill, staying focused on work, drinking alcohol, or smoking pot.
Ironically the most relief from anxiety or any uncomfortable feeling is found when you don't try to get away from it, but rather turn fully toward it. When you come to stillness and slowly name all the sensations, thoughts, impulses that go with that feeling, you are more able to accept the discomfort as a part of your experience in the moment. By turning towards anxiety with love and care for yourself you locate in a larger, more expansive you. This bigger you can be with anxiety and get curious about the needs underneath the anxiety. Let's look more closely at 4 steps for turning towards anxiety and locating in an expansive perspective.
1. STILLNESS The moment you notice anxiety, come to stillness. Come to stillness physically by setting your intention and then allowing any micro-movements or stretches that your body needs until it naturally relaxes into stillness. Then gently bring your posture into an upright, relaxed, and centered position. You may need to rock slightly forward and back, left and right to find your center. Close your eyes, relax your face, and breathe deeply into your belly. Practice this routine as often as possible and until this sequence is integrated fully as a habit that you can access when you need it most.
2. FOCUS ON YOUR EXPERIENCE As mentioned above, slowly name all the sensations, thoughts, impulses that make up anxiety. Ask yourself these questions to increase your ability to stay present to your experience:
Where in your body does the feeling reside?
Does it move around?
Is it deep in your body or more on the surface?
Does it have a color or texture?
What tone does it create?
Is it sharp and specific or dull and generalized?
What are the actual physical sensations that you are labeling as anxiety?
3. ACCEPTANCE Create a relationship of acceptance through the steps above and by simply saying to yourself, "It's okay to feel what I feel. Feeling anxious is okay. There is no real problem right now.” Feelings are a powerful part of your experience and as such you tend to immediately assign meaning to them. When anxiety triggers meaning making, it often sounds like this:
Something is wrong.
I am being judged.
I will be rejected.
Something terrible will happen.
There is a problem.
I must do something.
Interrupt this meaning making habit by naming what you know to be true in the present moment.
4. NEEDS Even though anxiety often arises out of habit, it can still be grounding to connect with the needs underneath. Often the needs underlying anxiety are core needs like safety, belonging, support, autonomy, and acceptance. If you check in with each of these needs and notice how they are already being met or take action to meet them, you will likely experience relief from anxiety. Unfortunately, because anxiety is often habitual, that relief may only be momentary. With practice, grounding in needs can become a stronger habit than the anxious feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and impulses.
Taking a simple view, we can summarize by saying that one way to view anxiety is as a set of habits. Following this idea, we see that we can access relief from anxiety by seeing the habits clearly and choosing to engage in a mutually exclusive set of habits as outlined in the four steps above.
Practice
This week practice at least one of four steps named above. Set up a structure such as an alarm on your phone or post it note to help you remember to practice at least once a day.