Practice Healthy Differentiation: Skill 3: Express and hear differences between you and another while remaining grounded and nonreactive
Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each. For more context about MCD Relationship Competency 12: Healthy Differentiation, see Skill 1: Articulate the core values by which you make major decisions, and Skill 2: Name at least five strengths you have that help you contribute to others.
Skill 3: Express and hear differences between you and another while remaining grounded and nonreactive
When there's poor differentiation in a relationship, differences trigger a sense of threat and this usually leads to judgment, convincing, trying to get someone to believe what you believe, or shutting down. With healthy differentiation, differences become a rich source of creativity, learning and intimacy.
You might most easily notice your skills with healthy differentiation with acquaintances or work colleagues. Often, healthy differentiation in the face of differences is most difficult with those you are closest to.
Practice
Take time to contemplate your own reactions and resources regarding meeting differences. Use the following questions for reflection or for a dialogue with a practice buddy:
What does reactivity regarding differences look like, feel like, sound like?
What habits interfere with your ability to remain grounded and curious when faced with views different from your own?
What helps you to stay grounded when differences stimulate a sense of threat in you?