Practice Emotional Security: Skill 5: Communicate internal experiences

Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each. For more context about MCD Relationship Competency 11: Emotional Security, see Skill 1: Using specific neutral observations, share with significant others what emotional security and responsiveness looks like for you, Skill 2: Internally access positive memories and the thought of supportive others in a moment of difficulty, Skill 3: Seek care and comfort from supportive others when faced with difficulty, and Skill 4: Engage in regular and consistent activities that support emotional security.

Skill 5: Communicate internal experiences (sensations, feelings, needs, dreams, impulses, energy level) as often as you communicate actions, decisions, stories, information, etc.

Talking about what others did or said, or just the things you did, leaves the other person guessing at your experience. They will most likely respond by also focusing on the events of your day and might also collude, try to problem solve, or rely on unspoken assumptions.

Sharing at the level of your internal experience with depth and subtlety requires self-awareness, and is an opportunity to be received with care and comfort by another, thus building emotional security.

Practice

Identify a relationship in which you would like more connection and you believe the other person does as well. Ask yourself now what level of vulnerability you would like to invite, and what you might share of yourself or get curious about in the other person that could support more connection.