Practice Empathy: Skill 3: Use a diverse vocabulary of feelings and needs

Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each. For more context about MCD Relationship Competency 2: Empathy, see Skill 1: Identify the differences between empathy and other responses to difficulty and Skill 2: Identify what prevents you from offering empathy.

Skill 3: Use a diverse vocabulary of feelings and needs: list from memory 20 feeling words and 20 need words

You can download the feelings and needs list here. For the next four days choose 5 feelings and 5 needs. Write them on a small card or in the notes function on your phone. Say them out loud to yourself as many times as needed until you can recite them without looking at the list.

PRACTICE

Practice applying a vocabulary of feelings and needs with the following exercise:

Consult the feelings and needs list and choose words that you don’t typically use when possible. Use this exercise to expand your vocabulary. For each statement below, imagine someone saying that and guess the feelings and needs that might be alive for them when they say that.

“I guess you're too busy for me.”

Feelings:

Needs:

“This family doesn’t appreciate anything I do. “

Feelings:

Needs:

“You are so selfish."

Feelings:

Needs:

“You are the most compassionate person I know.”

Feelings:

Needs:

“The supervisor is so uptight.” 

Feelings:

Needs: