Practice Needs-Based Negotiation: Skill 6: Choose 1-3 strategies from the brainstorm list and refine into specific and doable agreements

Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each. For more context about MCD Relationship Competency 7: Needs-Based Negotiation, see Skill 1: Articulate the difference between needs-based negotiation and other common forms of negotiation, Skill 2: Identify and communicate three ways to set up a dialogue for success: state intention, offer reassurance, plan for safety, Skill 3: State observations, thoughts, feelings and needs in less than two minutes before asking for a reflection back from the other person, Skill 4: Begin brainstorming requests when there is a clear sense of shared caring and honor of each other’s needs, and Skill 5: Engage creative brainstorming by restating the needs present for all and then making a list of possible strategies / actions to meet those needs without evaluating, agreeing or disagreeing with any ideas.

Skill 6: Choose 1-3 strategies from the brainstorm list (skill 5) and refine into specific and doable agreements

Often even the word “agreement” can trigger reactivity. There may be pain from broken agreements or fear of losing autonomy. It can be helpful to approach agreements as experiments rather than contracts. Agreements are experiments meant to clarify how to care for all needs present in a given context.

Practice

Spend some time reflecting on these two questions:

1. What supports you in keeping agreements?

2. What makes agreements less likely to be kept?