Jackal Dictionary
Part of cultivating compassion is learning to hear the feelings and needs people are expressing regardless of the words they use. This dictionary is meant to help you in that process. If you are having difficulty guessing the feelings and needs behind someone's words, you can enter the words or phrase into the Jackal Dictionary search engine. A list of possible feelings and needs will pop up for you to consider. If you don't find a phrase you are looking for, email it to us and we will add it to the dictionary.
You shouldn't feel that way!
Feelings: uncomfortable, irritated, confused
Needs: ease, peace, clarity
You should just commit.
Feelings: concerned, anxious
Needs: predictability, responsibility, trust
You should be over this by now.
Feelings: impatient, overwhelmed
Needs: efficiency, ease, harmony
You never listen!
Feelings: angry, frustrated, lonely, grief
Needs: to be seen/heard, intimacy, empathy, companionship
You never learned to listen, because your whole family never listens!
Feelings: impatient, annoyed
Needs: competence, to be seen/heard
You never help out.
Feelings: resentful, irritated, disappointed, lonely, overwhelmed
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, partnership, companionship, support
You need to clarify what you want in life.
Feelings: confused, overwhelmed
Needs: clarity, safety
You need to be less sensitive, and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Feelings: uncomfortable, overwhelmed
Needs: ease, clarity
You lied to me!
Feelings: anger, shock, hurt, fear, disappointment, grief
Needs: honesty, trust, security
You don't take any of my ideas.
Feelings: irritation, discouraged, sad
Needs: inclusion, respect, participation, mutuality
You don't seem to hear what I say!
Feelings: exasperated, puzzled, disturbed
Needs: connection, clarity, to be heard, acknowledgment
You don't listen to me!
Feelings: frustrated, disheartened, lonely
Needs: to be seen/heard, acknowledgment, respect
You don't know how to take care of yourself.
Feelings: worried, frustrated
Needs: preservation of life, reassurance
You don't have to understand everything I say.
Feelings: tense, worried, hopeless
Needs: compassion, ease, harmony
You don't have the courtesy to...
Feelings: hurt, shock, indignation
Needs: consideration, care, respect
You did this to yourself.
Feelings: disconnected, guilt, frustrated, anguish
Needs: mutual responsibility, competence, preservation of life
You decide!
Feelings: hopelessness, anger, hurt, impatience
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, communication