You shouldn't feel angry!

Feelings: frustration, anguish
Needs: connection, acceptance

You shouldn't feel that way!

Feelings: uncomfortable, irritated, confused
Needs: ease, peace, clarity

You should just commit.

Feelings: concerned, anxious
Needs: predictability, responsibility, trust

You should be over this by now.

Feelings: impatient, overwhelmed
Needs: efficiency, ease, harmony

You never listen!

Feelings: angry, frustrated, lonely, grief
Needs: to be seen/heard, intimacy, empathy, companionship

You never learned to listen, because your whole family never listens!

Feelings: impatient, annoyed
Needs: competence, to be seen/heard

You never help out.

Feelings: resentful, irritated, disappointed, lonely, overwhelmed
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, partnership, companionship, support

You need to clarify what you want in life.

Feelings: confused, overwhelmed
Needs: clarity, safety

You need to be less sensitive, and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Feelings: uncomfortable, overwhelmed
Needs: ease, clarity

You lied to me!

Feelings: anger, shock, hurt, fear, disappointment, grief
Needs: honesty, trust, security

You have to see deeply.

Feelings: impatient, concerned
Needs: competency, growth, learning

You don't take any of my ideas.

Feelings: irritation, discouraged, sad
Needs: inclusion, respect, participation, mutuality

You don't seem to hear what I say!

Feelings: exasperated, puzzled, disturbed
Needs: connection, clarity, to be heard, acknowledgment

You don't listen to me!

Feelings: frustrated, disheartened, lonely
Needs: to be seen/heard, acknowledgment, respect

You don't know how to take care of yourself.

Feelings: worried, frustrated
Needs: preservation of life, reassurance

You don't have to understand everything I say.

Feelings: tense, worried, hopeless
Needs: compassion, ease, harmony

You don't have the courtesy to...

Feelings: hurt, shock, indignation
Needs: consideration, care, respect

You did this to yourself.

Feelings: disconnected, guilt, frustrated, anguish
Needs: mutual responsibility, competence, preservation of life

You decide!

Feelings: hopelessness, anger, hurt, impatience
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, communication

You cannot be relied upon.

Feelings: disappointed, confused
Needs: security, consistency