Jackal Dictionary
Part of cultivating compassion is learning to hear the feelings and needs people are expressing regardless of the words they use. This dictionary is meant to help you in that process. If you are having difficulty guessing the feelings and needs behind someone's words, you can enter the words or phrase into the Jackal Dictionary search engine. A list of possible feelings and needs will pop up for you to consider. If you don't find a phrase you are looking for, email it to us and we will add it to the dictionary.
I'm stupid!
Feelings: dejected, fearful
Needs: success, happiness
Feelings: dejected, fearful
Needs: success, happiness
I'm incompetent! I can't understand this!
Feelings: frustration, anxious
Needs: contribution, autonomy, clarity
Feelings: frustration, anxious
Needs: contribution, autonomy, clarity
It's my fault we broke up.
Feelings: despair, anguish, ashamed
Needs: understanding, empathy, compassion, reassurance
Feelings: despair, anguish, ashamed
Needs: understanding, empathy, compassion, reassurance
It's all your fault!
Feelings: embarrassed, anxious
Needs: predictability, collaboration, acceptance
Feelings: embarrassed, anxious
Needs: predictability, collaboration, acceptance
Invalidated
Feelings: resentful, sad, dejected
Needs: to be seen/heard, respect, acknowledgment
Feelings: resentful, sad, dejected
Needs: to be seen/heard, respect, acknowledgment
It is my responsibility [to fix this].
Feelings: guilty, apprehensive, concerned
Needs: integrity, predictability, contribution
Feelings: guilty, apprehensive, concerned
Needs: integrity, predictability, contribution
Is that really your best effort?!?!
Feelings: disappointment, embarrassment
Needs: contribution, competency
Feelings: disappointment, embarrassment
Needs: contribution, competency
Irresponsible
Feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, fear
Needs: collaboration, predictability, preservation of life, peace, support, mutuality
Feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, fear
Needs: collaboration, predictability, preservation of life, peace, support, mutuality
Intimidated
Feelings: scared, anxious
Needs: safety, equality, support, empowerment
Feelings: scared, anxious
Needs: safety, equality, support, empowerment
If you don't help me clean, we won't be able to spend time together!
Feelings: frustrated, anxious,
Needs: cooperation, cleanliness, connection, peace
Feelings: frustrated, anxious,
Needs: cooperation, cleanliness, connection, peace
If I were more disciplined, I would exercise regularly.
Feelings: frustrated, disappointed, guilty
Needs: health, self-respect
Feelings: frustrated, disappointed, guilty
Needs: health, self-respect
I'm sorry, I'm tired.
Feelings: resigned, hopeless, resentful, exasperated, shut down, grief stricken
Needs: hope, growth, connection, ease, acknowledgment, appreciation
Feelings: resigned, hopeless, resentful, exasperated, shut down, grief stricken
Needs: hope, growth, connection, ease, acknowledgment, appreciation
I'm not going to be a very good department chair.
Feelings: apprehensive, anxious
Needs: competence, respect, belonging
Feelings: apprehensive, anxious
Needs: competence, respect, belonging
I'm jealous!
Feelings: insecure, angry, anxious
Needs: reassurance, fairness, love
Feelings: insecure, angry, anxious
Needs: reassurance, fairness, love
I would like to hear you say I was right.
Feelings: pain, hurt, sadness, frustration
Needs: to be seen/heard, trust,
Feelings: pain, hurt, sadness, frustration
Needs: to be seen/heard, trust,
I work hard! I deserve to come home to a clean house.
Feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful
Needs: ease, mutuality, support
Feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful
Needs: ease, mutuality, support
I talk too much!
Feelings: embarrassed, worry
Needs: feedback, mutuality, contribution
Feelings: embarrassed, worry
Needs: feedback, mutuality, contribution