Jackal Dictionary
Part of cultivating compassion is learning to hear the feelings and needs people are expressing regardless of the words they use. This dictionary is meant to help you in that process. If you are having difficulty guessing the feelings and needs behind someone's words, you can enter the words or phrase into the Jackal Dictionary search engine. A list of possible feelings and needs will pop up for you to consider. If you don't find a phrase you are looking for, email it to us and we will add it to the dictionary.
I'm incompetent! I can't understand this!
Feelings: frustration, anxious
Needs: contribution, autonomy, clarity
It's my fault we broke up.
Feelings: despair, anguish, ashamed
Needs: understanding, empathy, compassion, reassurance
It's all your fault!
Feelings: embarrassed, anxious
Needs: predictability, collaboration, acceptance
Invalidated
Feelings: resentful, sad, dejected
Needs: to be seen/heard, respect, acknowledgment
It is my responsibility [to fix this].
Feelings: guilty, apprehensive, concerned
Needs: integrity, predictability, contribution
Is that really your best effort?!?!
Feelings: disappointment, embarrassment
Needs: contribution, competency
Irresponsible
Feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, fear
Needs: collaboration, predictability, preservation of life, peace, support, mutuality
If you don't help me clean, we won't be able to spend time together!
Feelings: frustrated, anxious,
Needs: cooperation, cleanliness, connection, peace
If I were more disciplined, I would exercise regularly.
Feelings: frustrated, disappointed, guilty
Needs: health, self-respect
I'm sorry, I'm tired.
Feelings: resigned, hopeless, resentful, exasperated, shut down, grief stricken
Needs: hope, growth, connection, ease, acknowledgment, appreciation
I'm not going to be a very good department chair.
Feelings: apprehensive, anxious
Needs: competence, respect, belonging
I would like to hear you say I was right.
Feelings: pain, hurt, sadness, frustration
Needs: to be seen/heard, trust,
I work hard! I deserve to come home to a clean house.
Feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful
Needs: ease, mutuality, support