Jackal Dictionary
Part of cultivating compassion is learning to hear the feelings and needs people are expressing regardless of the words they use. This dictionary is meant to help you in that process. If you are having difficulty guessing the feelings and needs behind someone's words, you can enter the words or phrase into the Jackal Dictionary search engine. A list of possible feelings and needs will pop up for you to consider. If you don't find a phrase you are looking for, email it to us and we will add it to the dictionary.
You don't have the courtesy to...
Feelings: hurt, shock, indignation
Needs: consideration, care, respect
Feelings: hurt, shock, indignation
Needs: consideration, care, respect
You did this to yourself.
Feelings: disconnected, guilt, frustrated, anguish
Needs: mutual responsibility, competence, preservation of life
Feelings: disconnected, guilt, frustrated, anguish
Needs: mutual responsibility, competence, preservation of life
You decide!
Feelings: hopelessness, anger, hurt, impatience
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, communication
Feelings: hopelessness, anger, hurt, impatience
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, communication
You cannot be relied upon.
Feelings: disappointed, confused
Needs: security, consistency
Feelings: disappointed, confused
Needs: security, consistency
You can't even sweep the floor right!
Feelings: furious, impatient
Needs: competence, cooperation
Feelings: furious, impatient
Needs: competence, cooperation
You better have a good explanation for this!
Feelings: alarmed, worried
Needs: understanding, serenity
Feelings: alarmed, worried
Needs: understanding, serenity
You ask too many questions!
Feelings: disconnected, defensive, vulnerable
Needs: connection, acceptance, empathy, privacy
Feelings: disconnected, defensive, vulnerable
Needs: connection, acceptance, empathy, privacy
You aren't good enough to succeed, sorry.
Feelings: disappointed, dejected
Needs: competence, reassurance
Feelings: disappointed, dejected
Needs: competence, reassurance
You are such a bitch!
Feelings: angry, hurt, scared
Needs: respect, consideration, empathy
Feelings: angry, hurt, scared
Needs: respect, consideration, empathy
You are so selfish!
Feelings: angry, hurt
Needs: mutuality, consideration, caring
Feelings: angry, hurt
Needs: mutuality, consideration, caring
You are so insensitive!
Feelings: hurt, shock, disturbed,
Needs: consideration, warmth, mutuality
Feelings: hurt, shock, disturbed,
Needs: consideration, warmth, mutuality
You are seeking outside of yourself.
Feelings: impatience, frustration
Needs: self-reliance, independence, autonomy
Feelings: impatience, frustration
Needs: self-reliance, independence, autonomy
You are punishing me!
Feelings: pain, hurt, anger, desperation
Needs: compassion, to be seen/heard, healing, connection, clarity
Feelings: pain, hurt, anger, desperation
Needs: compassion, to be seen/heard, healing, connection, clarity
You are lazy!
Feelings: impatient, irritated
Needs: support, mutuality
Feelings: impatient, irritated
Needs: support, mutuality
You are being so critical!
Feelings: pain, anger, hurt
Needs: understanding, recognition, compassion, connection
Feelings: pain, anger, hurt
Needs: understanding, recognition, compassion, connection
You are being crazy!
Feelings: frustrated, confused, angry,
Needs: peace, clarity, ease, collaboration, groundedness
Feelings: frustrated, confused, angry,
Needs: peace, clarity, ease, collaboration, groundedness
You are always grumpy or upset about something!
Feelings: frustrated, disconnected, dejected, bored
Needs: celebration, play, fun, intimacy, love, humor
Feelings: frustrated, disconnected, dejected, bored
Needs: celebration, play, fun, intimacy, love, humor
You always interrupt me!
Feelings: resentful, irritated
Needs: acknowledgement, respect, to be seen/heard
Feelings: resentful, irritated
Needs: acknowledgement, respect, to be seen/heard
You always do this!
Feelings: frustrated, despair
Needs: choice, security, trust
Feelings: frustrated, despair
Needs: choice, security, trust
Why won't you talk to me?
Feelings: hurt, frustrated
Needs: connection, cooperation, trust
Feelings: hurt, frustrated
Needs: connection, cooperation, trust