Jackal Dictionary
Part of cultivating compassion is learning to hear the feelings and needs people are expressing regardless of the words they use. This dictionary is meant to help you in that process. If you are having difficulty guessing the feelings and needs behind someone's words, you can enter the words or phrase into the Jackal Dictionary search engine. A list of possible feelings and needs will pop up for you to consider. If you don't find a phrase you are looking for, email it to us and we will add it to the dictionary.
Why don't you love me anymore?
Feelings: confused, anxious, downhearted, despair
Needs: love, clarity, reassurance, appreciation, affection, warmth, companionship
Feelings: confused, anxious, downhearted, despair
Needs: love, clarity, reassurance, appreciation, affection, warmth, companionship
Why don't you have a better job?
Feelings: anxious, disappointment
Needs: security, competence
Feelings: anxious, disappointment
Needs: security, competence
Why do you always want to talk things through?
Feelings: apprehensive, tired, burnt out, resentful
Needs: safety, ease, harmony, play, connection
Feelings: apprehensive, tired, burnt out, resentful
Needs: safety, ease, harmony, play, connection
Why can't you listen to me?
Feelings: irritated, hurt, discouraged
Needs: to be seen and heard, expression, connection
Feelings: irritated, hurt, discouraged
Needs: to be seen/heard, expression, connection
Why can't the house be more organized?
Feelings: frustration, anxious, exasperated
Needs: order, structure, efficiency, support
Feelings: frustration, anxious, exasperated
Needs: order, structure, efficiency, support
Why can't I get my ducks in a row?
Feelings: apprehensive, overwhelmed
Needs: sustenance, meaning
Feelings: apprehensive, overwhelmed
Needs: sustenance, meaning
Why aren't you listening to me?
Feelings: frustrated, disappointed
Needs: acknowledgment, respect
Feelings: frustrated, disappointed
Needs: acknowledgment, respect
Why are you so mean?
Feelings: afraid, confused
Needs: love, warmth, acceptance
Feelings: afraid, confused
Needs: love, warmth, acceptance
Why are you being so argumentative?
Feelings: frustration, confusion
Needs: connection, clarity, understanding
Feelings: frustration, confusion
Needs: connection, clarity, understanding
Why am I never good enough?
Feelings: disillusioned, disturbed, ashamed, sad
Needs: acceptance, reassurance, celebration, to be seen/heard, appreciation
Feelings: disillusioned, disturbed, ashamed, sad
Needs: acceptance, reassurance, celebration, to be seen/heard, appreciation
Who wants to be near amazon size?!
Feelings: shame, grief, hurt
Needs: belonging, acceptance, being seen/heard, love
Feelings: shame, grief, hurt
Needs: belonging, acceptance, being seen/heard, love
When you really know me, you won't love me.
Feelings: apprehensive, ashamed, anxious
Needs: acceptance, love, bonding, dependability
Feelings: apprehensive, ashamed, anxious
Needs: acceptance, love, bonding, dependability
We should be on time.
Feelings: anxious, impatient, embarrassed
Needs: consideration, support, respect, community
Feelings: anxious, impatient, embarrassed
Needs: consideration, support, respect, community
We have to go to work and sit in a cubicle all day. That's the way life is!
Feelings: frustration, despair
Needs: acceptance, harmony
Feelings: frustration, despair
Needs: acceptance, harmony
Underhanded
Feelings: fear, disorientation, anger
Needs: trust, honesty, communication
Feelings: fear, disorientation, anger
Needs: trust, honesty, communication
Trapped - I feel trapped
Feelings: torn, anxious, hopeless, resentful
Needs: autonomy, support, clarity, mutuality
Feelings: torn, anxious, hopeless, resentful
Needs: autonomy, support, clarity, mutuality
Threatened
Feelings: frightened, overwhelmed
Needs: safety, respect, predictability
Feelings: frightened, overwhelmed
Needs: safety, respect, predictability
There is nothing I can do!
Feelings: hopeless, resigned, discouraged, grief
Needs: hope, support, clarity, mourning
Feelings: hopeless, resigned, discouraged, grief
Needs: hope, support, clarity, mourning