Jackal Dictionary
Part of cultivating compassion is learning to hear the feelings and needs people are expressing regardless of the words they use. This dictionary is meant to help you in that process. If you are having difficulty guessing the feelings and needs behind someone's words, you can enter the words or phrase into the Jackal Dictionary search engine. A list of possible feelings and needs will pop up for you to consider. If you don't find a phrase you are looking for, email it to us and we will add it to the dictionary.
Your room is such a disgusting mess! I should just throw everything in the trash.
Feelings: disappointed, frustrated, worried
Needs: order, responsibility, collaboration, appreciation
Feelings: disappointed, frustrated, worried
Needs: order, responsibility, collaboration, appreciation
Your problem is that you won't tell me what you want.
Feelings: sad, impatient
Needs: bonding, connection
Feelings: sad, impatient
Needs: bonding, connection
You're such a control freak.
Feelings: stressed, frustrated
Needs: autonomy, respect
Feelings: stressed, frustrated
Needs: autonomy, respect
You're so arrogant [full of yourself, egotistical]!
Feelings: frustrated, hurt, angry
Needs: consideration, to be seen/heard, mutuality
Feelings: frustrated, hurt, angry
Needs: consideration, to be seen/heard, mutuality
You're psychotic!
Feelings: nervous, confused, frightened, angry
Needs: compassion, clarity, predictability
Feelings: nervous, confused, frightened, angry
Needs: compassion, clarity, predictability
You're psychoanalyzing me, and my life!
Feelings: angry, disconnected, defensive
Needs: respect, privacy, autonomy, consideration
Feelings: angry, disconnected, defensive
Needs: respect, privacy, autonomy, consideration
You're pissing me off!
Feelings: anger, frustration
Needs: understanding, cooperation
Feelings: anger, frustration
Needs: understanding, cooperation
You're not hearing me!
Feelings: frustrated, lonely
Needs: to be seen/heard, empathy, connection
Feelings: frustrated, lonely
Needs: to be seen/heard, empathy, connection
You're not getting me right now.
Feelings: disheartened, discouraged, frustrated
Needs: to be seen/heard, mutuality, collaboration
Feelings: disheartened, discouraged, frustrated
Needs: to be seen/heard, mutuality, collaboration
You're not being generous enough.
Feelings: disappointment, guilt
Needs: contribution, effectiveness
Feelings: disappointment, guilt
Needs: contribution, effectiveness
You're just jealous.
Feelings: defensive, hurt, disheartened
Needs: acknowledgment, harmony, acceptance
Feelings: defensive, hurt, disheartened
Needs: acknowledgment, harmony, acceptance
You're afraid to take risks.
Feelings: downhearted, hopeless, worry
Needs: purpose, stimulation, contribution
Feelings: downhearted, hopeless, worry
Needs: purpose, stimulation, contribution
You're a child molester!
Feelings: horror, fear, grief, shock
Needs: respect, safety, peace, healing
Feelings: horror, fear, grief, shock
Needs: respect, safety, peace, healing
You withdraw when you are upset because you are trying to punish me.
Feelings: resentful, afraid
Needs: connection, security, safety
Feelings: resentful, afraid
Needs: connection, security, safety
You will keep the house clean and the way I want it, or I'm not living here!
Feelings: angry, disappointed
Needs: cleanliness, support
Feelings: angry, disappointed
Needs: cleanliness, support
You were wrong not to tell me about the broken dishes.
Feelings: anger, disappointment
Needs: honesty, respect
Feelings: anger, disappointment
Needs: honesty, respect
You were a good daughter the first day or two. Now, you are only showing the worst sides of yourself. I can only be sad and disappointed in you.
Feelings: sad, dissappointed, confused
Needs: clarity, understanding, harmony
Feelings: sad, dissappointed, confused
Needs: clarity, understanding, harmony
You used to touch me. Now, you don't hug me or touch me. And, you recoil when I try to hug you and be close to you.
Feelings: afraid, lonely, confused, hurt
Needs: clarity, connection, acceptance, affection
Feelings: afraid, lonely, confused, hurt
Needs: clarity, connection, acceptance, affection
You took it upon yourself to...
Feelings: resentment, bitterness, disappointment
Needs: consideration, collaboration, choice, participation
Feelings: resentment, bitterness, disappointment
Needs: consideration, collaboration, choice, participation
You started it!
Feelings: defensive, angry
Needs: to be seen/heard, fairness, safety
Feelings: defensive, angry
Needs: to be seen/heard, fairness, safety