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Making Requests: Empowered Communication - Eight Week Series Beginning January 10, 2020 (Video Conferencing or Self-Paced)

requests workshop.jpg

Is this you?

You are dedicated to living an authentic life with compassion for yourself and others.  You understand that living from authenticity and compassion requires mindfulness as well as practical skills.  You are willing to practice mindfulness and relationship skills in a safe environment that includes vulnerability and self-reflection.  You are ready for support in making specific and doable requests of yourself and others and entering into Needs-based negotiation.

What is it all about?

Mindful Compassionate Dialogue naturally supports you in creating the relationships you want by integrating the wisdom and skills of three powerful modalities:  Hakomi, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and Mindfulness.

Hakomi offers clarity about reactivity and healing, NVC offers a means for self-responsibility, skillful communication, and agency, and Mindfulness adds the stable attention and the clear focus needed to continuously refine your understanding and skills.

MCD is a system meant to provide access to agency, compassion, and wisdom through practice with 12 Relationship Competencies, nine foundations, and the intention to connect. Making requests is a part of a number of different competencies such as Competency 3 - Honest Expression,  Competency 4 - Self Empathy, Competency 7 - Needs-based Negotiation, Competency 8 - Life-serving Boundaries, and more. For this one-day workshop we will focus on the skill of making requests in a variety of situations.

What to expect:

You will interact with other students who are grounded in the values of mindfulness and compassion and bring a strong intention for growth and transformation. You will engage in conceptual learning, group discussion, experiential learning, and skills practice. Practice exercises will be done individually, in pairs, and in small groups. You will apply examples that you choose from your own life in each exercise.

Wise Heart has many dedicated students. Any given class series will be a mix of students who are new to Wise Heart and students who know the trainers and each other from previous courses.

Topics for the Series

We will approach the practice of making requests from the inside out and the outside in. Like many important skills making requests requires internal resources as well as information and practice.

Internal Resources include:

  • The ability to identify your needs as they arise.

  • The ability to consider and guess other’s needs.

  • Accessing a sense of trust that your needs matter equally with others’ needs

  • Accessing a sense of trust that your needs are inherently valid

  • Accessing a sense of trust that your needs can be met in harmony with the needs of others

  • Accessing a sense of trust that consideration and collaboration with others is the best strategy for meeting your needs.

  • Cultivating trust in multiple strategies to meet a single need.

External Resources (information and practice) include:

  • Learning the difference between a wishes/hopes, demands, and requests

  • Learning the words and phrases that support Needs-based negotiation

  • Learning specific tools to manage reactivity such as fear of rejection, fear of interdependency, and beliefs that you have to do it on your own

  • Learning how to break down overarching hopes or goals into small requests. Examples might include: “I would like recognition for the years I worked”, “I would like more presence”, “I want my kids to understand what I went through in the divorce”, “I would like to ask myself to be more loving”, “I would like to ask myself to be less reactive”, “I want my partner to be more understanding,'' etc.

  • Being exposed to lots and lots of little requests; the words, phrases, and syntax

  • Receiving validation and support from others that it’s okay to ask for what you need

Presentations and exercises will weave together these topics.

How it works:

For live attendance of each class we will begin with five minutes of guided meditation. I will present a particular concept and skill. There will be an opportunity for questions or requests. Then you will practice the skill in a short structured exercise in either pairs or a small group or within the whole group. Students will be signing in from their own location in real time, at the same time. Exercises can be modified to give you more or less challenge depending on your learning edge. You may also engage in role plays. There will be an opportunity for debrief and questions after each exercise.

We will be able to see and hear each other in little boxes on the screen. It's important to have a light in front of you not behind you. The video conferencing technology allows for breaking up into to pairs or small groups that I can visit and check in with just as I would do in an in person course.

It's okay to miss one or two classes in a series. You will receive a recording of the class and be asked to view it and do the corresponding exercises before the next class. Students won't be shown on the recording.

You can also opt to take the series only through the recording and participate in discussion via the online format. I recommend you find someone to do the course exercises with if you are receiving the recording.

You will receive a detailed workbook as a part of the class that you will need to have with you for each class. This workbook is dense with information and also contains instructions for each experiential exercise.

Details:

Live attendance means:

  • Attending at least six of the eight classes.

  • Arriving on time to each class (2:00 p.m. PDT).

  • Attending and participating for the duration of the class (2:00 p.m.–4:00 p.m., with a 10-minute break in the middle). It is very disruptive to come in and out of a single class session; please plan to attend by recording if you cannot stay for the full two hours of the class.

  • Consistent access to internet speeds and connectivity that support video conferencing (600kbps/1.2Mbps (up/down) for HQ video; 1.5Mbps/1.5Mbps (up/down) for gallery view).

  • Facility with using the Zoom video conferencing system. Please ask to consult with one of the staff members at Wise Heart if you are unsure about this aspect of your attendance.

  • Logging in each week using the initial instructions and meeting ID # you received before the start of the course.

  • Optional participation in the weekly online discussion with all students enrolled in the course.

Self-paced attendance means:  

  • As self-paced participants, you will receive an extensive workbook as well as access to the video recordings of each session within 24 hours of the end of the session (4:30 p.m. PDT).

  • You can ask to be assigned an empathy buddy to work with if you like.

  • Questions regarding the material, recordings, and practice each week will be answered by LaShelle via email correspondence. Please place the word QUESTION in all caps in the subject line so that we can track them and respond in a timely manner.

  • Optional participation in the weekly online discussion with all students enrolled in the course.

For more technical information about zoom, you can go here.  

  • Trainer: LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

  • Prerequisites: None

  • When: 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 pm PDT, eight consecutive weekly meetings from January 10, 2020 to February 28, 2020

  • Where: Online Video Conference Course

  • Cost $260.00 (Participants can opt to pay a $99 deposit to register, and pay the remaining balance on or before the first day of the workshop.)

 

Register:

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January 6

SOLD OUT - Drop-In Skills Practice Group on January 6, 2020

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January 10

2020 Year-Long Program - Online (Video Conferencing or Self-Paced)