Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each.

For more context, see Skill 1: Express the definition and purpose of appreciation and Skill 2: Express what’s working.

Skill 3: Empathy for Appreciation 

When someone offers you praise or appreciation you can honor their experience by getting curious about it. You make guesses about their feelings and needs. You can also ask questions to better understand what exactly it was that you did that contributed to them. This not only gives the other person a sense of being heard and received, it also helps you understand how to contribute to them.

PRACTICE:

This week set your intention to pause when someone expresses appreciation for you or gives you a compliment. Offer empathy and curiosity about their experience.

For example, someone said to you, “Wow, this is the best meal I’ve ever had! You’re an amazing cook!” 

Using the feelings and needs list, you might guess that they are feeling pleased because the food you cooked is contributing to joy and comfort.