Anger can act as a mobilizing energy or alarm meant to direct your attention to a threat to universal needs. It can act as an emotion that supports change. It gets our attention and gets us moving. This is the function of anger we are seeing now in a current push for racial justice. Anger is being expressed to bring attention to the very real threat that has existed for centuries, to needs for safety, acceptance, inclusion, fairness, equity, respect, and more in the lives of people of color. At this critical time of change which will hopefully take us a leap forward towards fairness and equity for all, it’s essential to be able to meet this type of anger. So how can you respond to this type of anger with support and stay focused on what matters most?

First, it’s critical to differentiate anger from violence. Unfortunately, most of us grew up seeing anger that resulted in violence rather than anger that pushed for positive change. If you hold anger as synonymous with violence, it’s very challenging to meet anger with compassion and stay focused on change. The moment you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective becomes narrow and historic conditioning can easily take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence.

 Let’s look at four key interventions to help you meet anger in yourself or someone else with support and groundedness. These interventions could be done together or called upon separately as needed.

1. Regulate your nervous system. Check in with your nervous system. Your threat detection system might need regulation. There are many ways to regulate your nervous system and you can find a long list in the handouts section of the Wise Heart website. Identify or remind yourself of the ones that work best for you and practice them daily.

2. Get grounded in universal needs. Repeat to yourself aloud or internally the universal needs that the anger is attempting to highlight.  For example, safety, acceptance, inclusion, fairness, equity, and respect. Then choose a need that is most prominent for you. Focus on your experience of having that need met. Maintain your focus on that need until you can feel it in your body. In this way you are sourcing the energy of that need. 

3. Open your heart to compassion. Let your attention rest on your care for the suffering of yourself and others. Remind yourself that under anger are vulnerable feelings like fear, hurt, and grief. If you are white, listen to the stories of people of color. Let feelings move through. Focus on your feeling of caring and concern until you notice your heart soften.

4. Respond to a call for action. Identify what you are doing or will do to contribute to racial justice. Taking action is an effective antidote to despair and hopelessness. And taking action to protect the lives at stake creates the opportunity for you to join in synergistic change with others. 

Whether you are feeling anger, hearing someone else’s anger, or both, these practices can help you stay grounded in compassion. As you engage in these interventions, it is essential to keep in mind that the purpose is not to suppress or transmute anger. Anger is a valid human emotion and does not need to be suppressed. It has its own life and will rise and fall moment to moment if it is met with respect and compassion. The purpose of the interventions named above is to enable you to stay connected to yourself and others and the underlying universal needs which gives strength to an important and long overdue change.

Practice

Take a moment now to identify which of these four interventions named you would like to practice today.